You

I've liked you since last October.
The last time we had a good conversation was last November.
The last day of November you asked her out.
I was so upset because I thought you liked me.
After that we didn't really talk.
Then we did one day in April.
Even though you were dating her and I knew you were off limits I still really liked you.
What hurts the most is that I liked you, and you didn't even know it.
That was when I realized when you really, truly like someone, you can't stop.
I was happy that there were rarely pictures of you and that girl that hated me so much on facebook.
I would just see the glaring picture of her on your profile proclaiming to the world that you were 'in a relationship.'
And every time I saw it, it killed me.
One day my stalking of you on Facebook was to the point I thought I should delete you off my friends list.
I couldn't like you and the only way I could do that was delete you off Facebook.
But I didn't.
I saw you every day at play practice which wasn't a good thing either.
Especially when you were with her.
I went to graduation in June and while I did like your friend and thought I had a crush on him, I'm not sure if I ever really did.
He didn't seem to want to hang out with me so I gave up.
I wouldn't have given up if it was you.
I was pretty sure graduation would be the last time I would see you face.
Unless I ran into you at a store or something, but even then we would just walk by each other.
No signs of recognition.
Then earlier in the month I was stalking you on facebook, like I did all too often.
And I saw you were single.
My heart skipped a beat.
I went on her page.
She was single too.
You weren't dating her anymore.
I was so excited.
I thought to myself 'this is finally my turn.'
And then I realized something.
You were going to college.
You probably didn't get in a fight.
You probably broke up with her because you were going to college.
And now I am nowhere.
You are single.
But I still cannot date you.
We haven't talked in so long.
And this fall I think I'll be seeing you in school because you'll be visiting.
And each time it will kill me inside.
But it doesn't matter.
Once winter comes around it won't matter.
I'll get over you.
I'll move on.
Find a better guy.
Somewhere.
Somehow.
Or maybe I won't.
Because maybe I'll still like you.
Because if there is one thing I have learned it's love hurts.
Even if it's a love that never existed.
Especially if it's a love that never existed.
But as for now.
I still like you.

August 25, 2011