The Weekend (Drinking)

Sober

Drinking

Drinking

Drunk.

Drunk.

Drunk as a duck drunk.

Hammered.

Smashed.

Passed out cold.

You don’t drink to enjoy it.

You drink to drink.

To get drunk.

To not remember.

To go numb.

To lose the pain.

To forget the loss.

But it doesn’t last now does it?

Wake up the next morning and your sick.

Sicker than a dog.

Throwing up.

Feeling woozy.

Everythings blurry.

What happened last night?

You can’t remember.

You can’t recall.

The pain floods back.

The lonliness.

The thoughts.

So you do it again that night.

Go numb.

Do things you won’t remember the next day.

You think your cool.

You think you’re the shit.

But your destroying your liver.

Bit

By bit.

Dancing in Heaven

Can you dance?
Can you sing?
Can you do anything in Heaven?
Will God be mad?
Will he scream?
Will he shout in Heaven?
Would you see family?
Would you see friends?
Would you see everyone again in Heaven?
Could you fly?
Could you die?
Could you reach up and touch the sky in Heaven?
Is there a door, that opens wide, and is way way up high in Heaven?
When you get there is it heavy, so heavy you need many hands, to each his own a mighty push as God's voice booms, "This isn't your turf! Go back down, they need you there!"
And then a strong hand comes forward and pushes you back, back down the ladder, back towards the ground, because it wasn't your time.
Because God needs you here.
Here.
Here on Earth.

Letting Go

(This is an old poem I just found. I wrote it June 4th 2012 about leaving Harwood.)

Letting Go

You never expect it. 

You don’t see it coming.

You assume it is so far off in the distance.

Nothing to worry about.

Because it won’t happen. 

It won’t happen for a while. 

But suddenly it’s May.

And the next month is June.

And your heart skips a beat just thinking about it.

That day when you’ll roam the halls, actually missing a place.

All this time not really caring. 

Suddenly you do.

You don’t want to leave the safe building.

The teachers.

Maybe even the students.

But you are.

Because you have to.

Because life moves on.

And you just have to move with it.

Sometimes you feel like you’re on a tightrope.

You don’t want to fall off but the only way not to is to keep going.

Just following everyone. 

Doing what is expected.

What you want to do.

Because it is supposed to happen.

Thirteen more days.

Twelve more days.